It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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