Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
