Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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