Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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