So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
