she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
