Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
