I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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