Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
