Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
