Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
