girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
