Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
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Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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