youre lurking in front of me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
