Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize