Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
