Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
