WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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