oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
