everyone is single if you try hard enough
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
