youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
