If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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