dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
