She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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