69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
