Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
