I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
