I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
