I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
