I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
