is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
