He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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