Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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