How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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