i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
