I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize