I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
