I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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