It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
