god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
