Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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