i may or may not be watching the land before time
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
