Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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