Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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