your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
