i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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