A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
