im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have feelings that need drinking.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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