dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
