need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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