Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
