We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
