Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
