you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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