Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
