I wish life had little blips of pornography
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
