their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
