I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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