i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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