Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
