when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
