wanna go halves on a baby?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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