I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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