would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
